Today, out of curiosity, I took my first look at my Economics Analysis grade—and I was dismayed. Honestly, I only studied class presentations and summaries; I hardly touched the actual textbooks or paid close attention during lectures. Clearly, my final mark reflects these choices.

Initially, I felt disbelief and sadness. I thought I had enough knowledge, or perhaps I was simply being overly optimistic. It’s possible that I misunderstood a question on the final or failed to delve deeply enough into the concepts I believed were correct.

I won’t deny that I feel sad. In fact, I told myself that if this happens again next trimester, I might quit the program altogether. I need at least a 2.0 to qualify for the comprehensive exam at the end of the course, and that goal seems to be slipping further away with every poor decision I make regarding my studies.

My original plan was to study consistently before each class—something I intended to do before the trimester even started—but I never actually followed through. Looking back, it’s obvious I missed an opportunity to fully commit.

Strangely, I did enjoy Economics initially. But when finals came around, I ended up cramming at the last minute. Despite preparing slides, podcasts, and even a reviewer, I did the bare minimum. It’s no surprise I ended up with the lowest score.

Now, I’m trying to figure out why I’m sad when I didn’t put in enough effort to begin with. Maybe it’s not sadness—I’m probably just disappointed in myself. I also see how being too hopeful without putting in the work can set me up for failure.

Moving forward, I’ve decided to impose a strict rule for myself: No more grades at 2.0 or below. If I can’t achieve that next trimester, I’ll have to reconsider continuing this master’s degree.

That’s all for now—just my honest reflection on what went wrong and how I might move forward.